Friday, March 11, 2011

Protective parents are really showing love or are destroying the kid instead

This is a powerful message in our modern society. We seem to have lost our
bearing & our sense of direction.
One young academically excellent person went to apply for a managerial
position in a big company.
He passed the first interview, the director did the last interview, made the
last decision.
The director discovered from the CV that the youths' academic achievements
were excellent all the way, from the secondary school until the postgraduate
research, never had a year when he did not score.
The director asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships in school?"
The youth answered "none."
The director asked, "Was it your father who paid for your school fees?"
The youth answered, "My father passed away when I was one year old, it was
my mother who paid for my school fees."
The director asked, "Where did your mother work?"
The youth answered, "My mother worked as clothes cleaner."
The director requested the youth to show his hands. The youth showed a pair
of hands that were smooth and perfect.
The director asked, "Have you ever helped your mother wash the clothes
The youth answered, "Never, my mother always wanted me to study and read
more books. Furthermore, my mother can wash clothes faster than me."
The director said, "I have a request. When you go back today, go and clean
your mothers' hands, and then see me tomorrow morning."
The youth felt that his chance of landing the job was high.
When he went back, he happily requested his mother to let him clean her
hands. His mother felt strange, happy but with mixed feelings, she showed
her hands to the kid.
The youth cleaned his mothers' hands slowly. His tear fell as he did that.
It was the first time he noticed that his mothers' hands were so wrinkled,
and there were so many bruises in her hands. Some bruises were so painful
that his mother shivered when they were cleaned with water.
This was the first time the youth realized that it was this pair of hands
that washed the clothes everyday to enable him to pay the school fee.
The bruises in the mothers' hands were the price that the mother had to pay
for his graduation, academic excellence and his future.
After finishing the cleaning of his mother hands, the youth quietly washed
all the remaining clothes for his mother.
That night, mother and son talked for a very long time.
Next morning, the youth went to the directors' office.
The Director noticed the tears in the youths' eyes, asked: "Can you tell
me what have you done and learned yesterday in your house?"
The youth answered, "I cleaned my mothers' hand, and also finished cleaning
all the remaining clothes."
The Director asked, "Please tell me your feelings."
The youth said, 

"Number 1, I know now what is appreciation. Without my mother, there would
not be the successful me today.
Number 2, by working together and helping my mother, only I now realize how
difficult and tough it is to get something done.
Number 3, I have come to appreciate the importance and value of family
The director said, "This is what I am looking for someone to be my
manager. I want to recruit a person who can appreciate the help of others, a
person who knows the sufferings of others to get things done, and a person
who would not put money as his only goal in life. You are hired."
Later on, this young person worked very hard, and received the respect of
his subordinates. Every employee worked diligently and as a team. The
company's performance improved tremendously.
A child, who has been protected and habitually given whatever he wanted,
would develop "entitlement mentality" and would always put himself first. He
would be ignorant of his parents' efforts.
When he starts work, he assumes that every person must listen to him, and
when he becomes a manager, he would never know the sufferings of his
employees and would always blame others.
For this kind of people, who may be good academically, may be successful
for a while, but, eventually, would not feel the sense of achievement. He
will grumble and be full of hatred and fight for more. 

If we are this kind of protective parents, are we really showing love or
are we destroying the kid instead?

You can let your kid live in a big house, eat a good meal, learn piano, watch a big screen TV.

 But when you are cutting grass, please let them experience it. 
After a meal, let them wash their plates and bowls together with their
brothers and sisters. It is not because you do not have money to hire a
maid, but it is because you want to love them in a right way.
You want them to understand, no matter how rich their parents are, one day
their hair will grow gray, same as the mother of that young person. 

The most important thing is your kid learns how to appreciate the effort
and experience the difficulty and learns the ability to work with others toget things done.


  1. Dear Sh.Anil Harsh ji,

    Thanks for making great efforts to compile this piece of advice to our modern parents ----bowing to almost every demand of their child thus spoiling their child by being more protective parents.

    Protective parents result in making their child very sensitive,fragmented,very much immune to adverse comments of others.

    Dr.Wyne W.Dyer book--"Pulling your own strings" preface have given in detail such sensitive childhood of Dr.Dyer (a famous psychologist and books writer).He thought to be suffering from allergy , consulted several psychiatrists.But psychiatrists were more interested in their consulting fees.
    At later stage he introspected his own life and written several world best selling books on psychology and still he is active.
    Most of us will find our early life resembling to the case as mentioned above.

    So let us make our child learn how to make effort,experience the difficulty and learn the ability to work with others to GET THINGS DONE.

    Manoj K.Kamra

  2. Namaskar
    From Ashok Hindocha
    M-094262 54999